I love being a mom. I adore it.
But there are those times where I'm pulling my hair out and breaking down from the stress. Sleep-deprivation, mixed with an active little boy, a dirty house, loads of laundry to do, worrying about the future and that feeling in the back of your mind that you are forgetting something all the time...can be a little much.
I sometimes feel like I'm treading water and just barely keeping my head above water.
Mike has been so amazing through all this, but with his commuting to the bay area each day, sadly there are days he leaves at 4am and doesn't get home till 9pm. And those seem to be the hardest days for us at home.
Go figure.
But this last week as I was getting my To Do list together and trying to remember everything that needs to get done, I saw Jack, sitting on the floor...staring at me.
Just waiting for me to look at him so he could show me the biggest, sweetest smile.
He was so happy and content to just be with me and have my attention.
And then I realized...
I'm an idiot!
I say that in the nicest way possible of course, but here I was, stressing out and worrying about silly things while I had someone who was just so happy to be with me...no matter what. So, I ditched the to do list and took a day to learn from Jack...and this is what my 10 month old reminded me:
1. Each day is an adventure and a chance to explore. Even the boring tasks that need to get done can be fun if you try and have a good attitude. Jack loves folding and sorting laundry with me...he even looks forward to it. He doesn't sort or "fold" in the conventional sense, but he has a lot of fun.
Which brings me to my next point...
2. It doesn't have to be perfect or planned. He has been teaching me that since the day he was born! Hello Charlotte!
But the best times we have together are unplanned tickle fights, walks and hide 'n seek sessions.
3. Taking breaks are essential. There are those rare times when he falls asleep in my arms and I see this huge smile smeared across his face as he snuggles. (Jack is a huge snuggler) Instead of rushing him into his crib, I just soaked in the moment and took a nap with him.
4. Family is the best. He gets so excited when his family is around him and he gets to play with all of us. He doesn't care about anything else except quality time. He is more content just being held by Mama, Daddy, Papi or Nana than anything else in the world.
5. The last thing is probably the most simple. Just be happy. Jack is always smiling, laughing or hugging. Even through his teething, he manages to laugh or smile through the pain. He's not always so chipper, but 95% of the time, Jack is just happy. Definitely something to aspire to.
He reminded me of this quote from Gordon B. Hinckley which gave me great comfort this week. Even though I ditched my to do list, everything that needed to get done, did and I felt uplifted to be able to spend my time with my amazing little one.
So those are my thoughts and my little life lesson I learned from Jack this last week. Nothing profound or earth-shattering, but to a frazzled mom, it was just what I needed to ground me, renew my soul and have the strength to do it all over again this week.
Three cheers for all the moms out there! We all deserve medals...
or cupcakes...
cupcakes are good.